Dreams in Orange

In the orchard dreaming;
of crimson fruit,
Lay I,by the river gleaming
on that unswept route.
The wind brushed soft,
careful not to stir
reveries of a longing expressed oft--
waking in deep slumber.
The sun golden without blaze
shone down on the fall.
Me,on the maples,sprawling in daze,
My little form, my feet bare and small
--prostrate on my pretty bed.
No sound to my ears--
Deft I was led;
with eyes bereft of tears.
Yet I could feel,
Yet I could see,
My cuts so heal,
How deep they be.
My Heart heard far away--
that lovely orchard weeping;
and leaves to each other say:
"Nothing is for the keeping."
And so,to my half-sense.
loss turned sharp;
To rouse from somnolence dense
Unto waking life's harp.
But I dare not budge
from my secret muse--
To the world which held a grudge;
against these falser hues.
And so pass my days--
in the gently wasting sun
at that melancholy place
until life was done.
When sudden,I hear,my lost love
And so,I wake,
I run to the meadow above
To see by the sad lake--
the light of my eyes,
And sobbing, it I hold
Then I realise--
My hands empty, and cold.
"Ah! a dream! Bitter and sweet!"
Say I, laughing loud;
And walk my bruised feet
back to the autumnal crowd.

Late reflections

They Leave us, those charms of life

What stays behind, is a ceaseless strife

Between memories unforgotten, and oblivious despair

Still we breathe in its tepid air –

Life is all about forgetting that which passed, they say…

Hence we move on, and to our dismay –

We wonder where to Life is getting..

Whether its worth the obliteration, the forgiving, the forgetting.

There

There! I saw you there last night!
Inward, where my angels I keep;
You weren’t changed a bit, only a difference slight—
Once there, each morning I awoke - Now there, in sleep.

Why! you looked just the same,
Why couldn’t I tell it was you?
Dear, So ill of me! So lame!
I could see nothing but the blue.

And hushed, you passed by me,
Echoless, you slipped away,
Never could I hear, Never could I see;
How overlooked in my way-
My beating heart, as crushed it lay.

Tell me, oh lost one;
Whence did you stray?
What came upon you to abandon?
Why, my dear, could you not stay?

I ask the skies each night
To confess their secrets, kept pristine;
Sweet or sad, wrong or right.
Hoping there would be some light, in oblivion passed unseen.

Some light that could lead me—
To where you now dwell
Some light in which I could see;
If everything with you is well.

--As well as it used to be,
Back when dreams were dreams;
Back when I had you with me.
Back when I did not long to drift, along those drifting streams.

And I was mundane, and you were too.
And to our pains, we lent little heed
When we could forget, and start anew
Back when I could laugh, and happily so to death bleed.

Homecoming

Night, this night, how pleasant and sweet!

There stand in the vase pristine and neat—

The roses, giddy, with fragrances their own

No flower stands withered, no leaf alone.

The hours, they glide with sanguine bliss

As enamored, as love, as quick as a kiss!

The firelight makes merry, joyous and warm.

And the darkness comforts, so unusual it’s form!

The furniture lies bare, smiling, content.

The moments in gladdening apprehensions are spent.

The mind stays engrossed, in thoughts good and fair.

And the heart finds peace, ah! such delighted air!

Night,this night,something lovely about this night.

All nights are dark – this one, bright!

Let, dear god, let this night be

Let me be here, away from me.

And from all that I love, and owe my life to.

From all the happiness I had, and the pains I went through;

When I loved them and lost; god, for the tired heart’s sake

Let this night stay, for I love nothing about it, it will not ache.

Of an unfinished Dream

And so I dreamt by the edge sweet
of a brook so blue--
A dream that was incomplete;
and incomplete it came true.

What I saw, I could not tell
t'was lovely, t'was pleasing
And I felt my heart compel
And my heartbeats ceasing

I saw the days untired
And the nights young
Little things I desired;
To pretty branches strung.

That dream, I say, t'was incomplete
and incomplete it came true
Until I woke up to the morning heat;
To the morning heat, and saw you.

Dear...

Dear, you must learn---
To not so much at heart burn,
To not so ache, and cry not so
To love and live, and then forego.

Dear, you must see---
That this world, and you and me,
are but hearts, that cease to beat
That all will end, all bitter and sweet.

Dear, you must understand---
That the sky, and the land,
breathe in changing airs, stay in constant unrest
To keep what is theirs, yet as they try their best
-- To save what they have from waning and dying
Hence lessens not their pain, nor their trying--
To let change not change, to let things as they be
And then comes the knowing, so quick after the reverie--
That what they love is their own, and will stay.
Then left alone, they weep in utter, profound dismay.

Dear, do not look at me so--
Dear, my dear, don't you know?
That what I say, I myself do not keep to...
Dear, I Love and lose, like you, I weep too.

Conclusion

T'was delicate and little
Livid, painful to see
balmy to touch, and brittle
A soul to be set free.

I brought it home to love
It did still waste away
So to the heavens above--
I my head turned to pray.

All it needed was care and aid,
So my heart knew, and I kept trying;
To keep its pulse, but it did fade,
Lord! it kept on dying!

On my lap it rested...
With labored breath, and a broken whine
Death, the air it had infested.
It fixed its gaze upon me, and I struggled for their shine.

The seraphic look it bore,
And its golden eye
Like the days of yore:
They closed without a sigh.

The little chest ceased heaving,
So sudden it did!
I should’ve known it was leaving...
But Reason from me, and I from reason hid.

My fingers, they felt the body so cold
Stone it was, that angelic face!
And like the swift awakening of some terror old;
I, scattered on the ground, horror around me in embrace.

And then I wished to see it no more
That child, that form, so pure, so frail!
Lord! How greatly it battled to stay ashore!
Lord! How greatly it did fail!

How it stormed that night...
Trees sprawled uprooted.
And the earth was wet and just right
For a burial so suited!

And there it was laid,
Wrapped in possessions sad
Resigned to its repose, to degrade--
Into the loam that clad.

Lord, they tell me so much;
Of your deeds, noble and high,
Lord, They speak of your existence, and things such
Lord! How wretchedly they lie!

Reluctance

Let me be, as I please...
Lend me your shoulder no more
Let the flow of words cease.
Ask me not to forget the days of yore.

For you are but untouched, my dear!
With trifling perception and depth less thought.
Those slight echos you do not hear.
That threadlike pulse your touch never caught.

Let me now not trouble you again
with something you cannot feel, nor endeavor to see--
Leave us alone, me and my pain.
In melancholic zeal, the broken heart finds its revelry.

I cannot go back to what I was
I cannot become her again
I cannot look back to see the way I crossed because--
Scattered, my dreams on that very road of loss.
--- and I, bleeding had lain.

Demise

Last night, I held it to my heart--
Like mother and child
It was in my arms, my own very part
- Beautiful, frail, and mild.

Tonight, I sit here, tonight
To tell you this tale
Hence, I go forth and write...
Last Night;
It died last night. Look ! How I fail !

Question

Let this be taken away,
Lest it should wander of its own!
Why, one day it had to sway,
Let this be sooner known.

Ignorant heart, why should you cry ?
For something that had to go;
Let us now sit together, and try
And break not our hearts so!

We shall forget about it, and more
We shall not think of this again
We shall make merry as before.
We shall kiss goodbye our pain...

Heart, you must trust me today
This sobbing, This smiling, This sighing --
This is all childish, I've moved on, I say...
Yet something in me keeps on dying!
Do you doubt if I verily have moved away ?
Heart, Tell me, Have I been lying ?

Disclosure

With such fervor have I often lent
my heart out to hues that soon fade
that lovely, mauve, aubergine shade
So beauteous, So transient!

With such feeling have I often spent
my youthful days in ecstatic neglect
within fragrances that reflect...
eternity a moment --
(then to briefness relent!)

Oft times...

Oft times have I warned myself not to sway,
Oft times have I unheeded my own warnings.
'Tis not wise to make castles in the air, they say;
Yet they dwell in my lonesome nights, and fill my lonesome mornings...

Oft times have I thought
and pitied my ailing lot...
Oft times have I found myself, so dearly wishing ---
That I be in the wrong when I think that the sole conclusion to life is withering, waning and languishing!

...For I fail to chance upon the way that leads to you...
and I don't think I have the strength to start anew.
For I possess a mind too troubled, too frail...
...a heart as broken as a wrecked boat, a soul as crushed as a tattered sail.

Yet, hopeful, I linger on...
In the world of disbelievers, a wanton, elusive fawn,
Dreaming of you, when all is gone...

A Wish

A door stands closed, between me and someone I know.
It pains me dearly, it hurts me so!
So much did my scorned fingers try to reach the knob, but no matter how close it be...
That door, it still stands closed, between someone I know, and me!

If not that, then I wish there be a window somewhere...
And if I could not come out, at least I could open it and see --
If the person I know, is still standing there...

Even though I wish they forget me, and stand no more,
In burning agony called hope, near that miserable door...
...and run off to a land less painful, and breathe in its happy air.


Yet there lingers on in me, that childish whim of mine ---
That the door opens one day....
...and in they step to say,
" I am home dear, and now it'll all be fine! "

Advice

In the world of woven dreams;
Tread softly, ignorant, blundering child !
The grass lies trodden, perhaps sad it seems...
Yet to many a blistered feet - comforting and mild.

That dream there, it needs some painting to regain -
The gleam of its faded hues.
Tend the tree that bears it with the sun, the air, the rain..
And whilst you wander, and to yourself muse --

Why too, in the world of dreams, melancholy you meet
Stop not my child, the vagrancy, the caper, the fall...
High trees, little reach, coarse paths, bruised feet.
Let go, Let go, Let go one and all !

The world of dreams is sad, alone and bereft
There flourish some joys unpicked, some hopes overgrown.
So many have come, stayed awhile and left.
You too, my child, one day will leave it alone ---

And go back where it is all calm and well.
To spend your days in peace - the boon of utter despair.
And miss that unsettling world of dreams, more than you could tell...
And long to flow with the flowing streams, and languish under the spell.

Withdrawal

Let me try and recollect what happened that bright day;
Ah, yes, there I was, by the brook's edge, running all the while.
Tripping here, stopping there, hollering, singing away...
Within my palm, my jewel, the author of my smile.

Cheerless since days it was, though why, I could not tell.
But I knew it loved an outing, so we go out that day,me and my jewel...
As the merry air it touched, gloom did leave, it grew happy and well.
Poor me,I too was happy, as happy as a miserable fool.

Let me try and recollect what went wrong then,
I know not where it went, my jewel so dear !
I know not how it slipped from my wretched palm,and when...
I remember calling its name, and looking far and near.

Let me try and recollect, what then became of me...
...sobs muffled in blankets, some sighs, many tears...
quick sleep, its comfort, and sedatives heavy.
Slight conscious, thick daze, little apprehension of realized fears.

Let me try and recollect what happened after---
In disquieted sleep, its name I hear, and my own hollow laughter....

There have been times...

There have been times,

When I’ve sprinkled some pages with rhymes.

When I’ve had something in mind,

And on my pen have been kind...

To put to paper some thought

And have for solace sought

In mountains high with clouds drifting,

On nights bereft of sleep, shuffling and shifting.

And let my mind wander of its own

With a soul that has so often known --

Pain, and misery, and wanton delight...

Such an asset it is, and a nuisance slight !

To know it all so less, yet feel it all so well,

To find it difficult to love heaven, impossible to hate hell.

To gather memories handpicked, reminiscent of some sweet sorrow...

And from the beating heart, some warm blood borrow,

And let it run free in a body so frail.

To try not so much, and so much fail !

There have been times, yes there have been times

When I have sprinkled pages with rhymes –

But at all times have I one common theme seen ;

A death not so lifeless, a life not so keen.

Welcome, to where it all unwinds...

Hello people, I, Prachi, proudly welcome you all to my newly-created blog !!!

E.M. Cioran said, " Between Ennui and Ecstasy unwinds out whole experience of time." I guess he had an idea how right he was.

So, here, we talk of life, and our days contained therein....For, what better a thing to talk about than this ? And what worse.....